Broken
by Sueona
Summary: Four years ago left Raito alone. What can he do to gain it back?


Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.

Warnings: Angst, Smex.

Pairings: L/Raito.

Summary: Four years ago left Raito alone. What can he do to gain it back?

Notes: Well here is an oneshot. I hope you enjoy it. Please tell me what you think.

It has been four years since that fateful night where everything went to hell. He stared up at the building that stood tall even though no one was inside anymore. He walked inside, following the same path he did every year. He wanted to understand where it went wrong. He wanted to know why he felt this way. He wanted the pain to disappear but it never did. He tried everything. He pushed himself into school, then work, but it never worked. Every night he would dream of that night so long ago, where he lost everything. His honey eyes studying the room, emptiness was there. No papers lying on the desks. No computer humming in the background, just dead silence. He continued to walk forward and sat down where he sat before. He closed his honey eyes and imaged what it was like those four years ago. He heard Misa's whining voice in the background. He heard papers shuffling around from the other task members, looking for information. He heard the computers humming, popping up more information. But he saw the greatest detective in the world, sitting in the chair next to him with his knees pulled up to his chest and his toes curling around the chair as he ate cake. It was heaven and hell. He wanted those moments back, but it went all away.

'_Raito is very pretty.' L spoke in a heated voice. _

'_Raito, I am glad we met.' _

'_Raito, do not be upset. We will find the truth.' _

'_Raito.'_

'_Raito, I care about you dearly.' _

Those words ring inside of his head repeating over and over. It made no sense at all. They were said but L left. Did the older man mean those words or were they lies? He didn't know the answer to those questions. Part of him wished he did but the other part feared what the answers would be. He turned around and stared at the unused computer. It has been so long since that night.

'_Yagami-kun, goodbye.' _

Why did it hurt so much? Why did he feel pain from those words? He shouldn't feel anything but he did. It drove him mad feeling that way. He swore that he would stop feeling that way and live his life. But every year he would come back to the place that caused him pain. He swept his hand across the table, knocking over the papers that were left behind. They fell to the floor but he didn't care. He stood up and cursed this place. All he went through here was suffering. So, why did he come back here?

'_Raito.'_

'_Raito.'_

'_Raito, my Raito.' _

Lowering his head, he felt his heart ache. He knew why he came back here every year. He wanted those memories. He wanted to know what he lost even though he didn't understand why it happened or how it happened. He shook his head and sighed sadly. He wouldn't gain his answers here. His questions were always left unanswered. He glanced down at his watch and sighed again. It was time to leave and head back to work. He refused to think about that fateful night again. He would leave that until next year when he would come back here. He walked out of the main room, heading back out of the building. He went back to the police station. He had work do to. He would ignore the worried glances there. He would lie and say everything was fine when it wasn't. He wouldn't admit his heart ache. He would deny his pain even though it was written on his face.

When Raito walked inside the police station, Matsuda ran over to him and whispered, "Your father was worried about you. You should tell us where you are going when you leave like that."

He placed a fake smile on his face and responded, "I only went to get lunch, Matsuda-san. There is nothing to worry about."

Matsuda stared at the young man and sighed, "Whatever you say, Yagami-kun. Well we are needed in the conference room."

"What for?" Raito asked. He didn't feel like being in a room with others. He would prefer to work alone and stay away from those closest to him. They were seeing through his lies now. He couldn't stop the pain from showing on his face. Even his father, who he always had fooled, was asking what was wrong. He didn't want to admit about that fateful night. He didn't want anyone else to know. He walked down the hall with Matsuda following. The cases were not hard. He could solve them within seconds. Everything was boring and he didn't want to walk through life like this.

Yagami watched his son walk into the room with Matsuda following behind him. He wanted to ask where Raito went but Raito wasn't a child any longer. Raito was a young man now who could go and leave when he pleased. He heard his men ask if he knew what was wrong with Raito. He even saw it. Raito wasn't acting the way he always did. Raito was more withdrawn from everyone.

Raito sat down and looked at the file in front of him. He sighed deeply when he saw it was a case. He glanced through the words and the pictures. He already had a suspect, most likely being the killer. He waited until everyone sat down. He listened to them speak but he couldn't make out their words. He was left in his own world.

'_Raito, I am glad we met.' _

'_Raito is mine, not Amane-chan.' _

'_I think it is time to tell Amane-chan.' _

'_Raito, once this case is over, we will tell everyone.' _

He shut his eyes. Why did it hurt so much? Why couldn't he stop those memories from coming to him? L said they would announce it to the team once the case was solved. It never happened. He opened his eyes, snapping back to reality. He wasn't back at the headquarters. He was in a conference room with other police officers talking about a case right in front of his face. He sighed, "The wife did the crime. The husband is covering for her because he believes it is his fault." Everyone looked at him and he looked back. He wasn't stupid. He could solve cases like nothing. It was an easy case.

"Very good work like always." A robotic voice said from the back of the room, shocking the entire room.

Raito froze in his seat. It couldn't be. He turned around to find a computer set up in the back corner. Why didn't he see it when he came into the room? Why did it have to be him now? It has been four years since that fateful night. Why did he come back?

'_Yagami-kun, goodbye.' _

He stared at the scene that showed a gothic L. He turned back around and replied like nothing was bothering him, "It wasn't too hard to figure out. The victims were all girls who were seen with the husband. The wife is a jealous person and was seen fighting with one of the girls before her death."

"You are getting rusty, Yagami-kun. The truth is the husband did the crime, trying to get his wife sent to prison for cheating on him." The robotic voice responded.

"What do you mean?" Raito asked as he turned around to glare at the scene. He refused to back down. His skills were not rusty at all. He was doing his job great. How dare this man come back after four years and call him rusty. His hands curled into fists as his eyes narrowed at the computer.

Aizawa sighed in his seat. Who could he believe? Raito was smart and could solve cases, but then again so could L. Well, L did fail in the Kira Case. L swore it wasn't the truth at the end but after weeks of no deaths by heart attacks the case was called closed. He leaned back in his chair and question, "How do you know it was the husband?"

"Because the case has already been solved by me." L robotic voice answered.

Raito stood up and sneered, "It was a damn test. For what, damn bastard!?" He could feel everyone eyes on him but he didn't care. There were some of the men in the room who knew why he was reacting like this.

"I wish to meet Yagami-kun." L replied emotionless.

Raito stopped from saying his words. L wanted to see him again but why? Was L going to tell him the truth of why he left him behind? His eyes stared at the computer. What should he say? Should he see L again? He sat back down and whispered, "All right."

"Watari will give Yagami-kun the information needed to see me. It was a pleasure Yagami-kun." L replied.

The scene went blank and he stared at the table. He should have said no. What would happen when he goes to see L? L left him behind without explaining anything. His heart was broken into pieces when the older man left. He looked up to see the others staring at him.

"I can't believe that man." One man said while they stared at Raito.

"He wants to meet Yagami-kun." Another man said.

"Amazing. I heard he never meets anyone." A third man said.

Raito looked down at the table. Only if they knew that he already met the greatest detective in the world. Only if they knew he was in love with that man. He stood up and sighed, "I better go out and see where to meet him." He left before anyone could stop him. He didn't want to reveal the truth. He wanted to see L more than anything. Why? He should be furious with the other man. He should yell and scream at L. But he couldn't. He wanted to see L again. He wanted to feel safe again. He walked to his desk to stop in his tracks. Standing there was Watari and he didn't know how to act. Out of everyone, Watari beside Misa knew about the affair. He stepped forward, hiding his suffering behind a mask and asked, "I guess you are here to give me the information to meet L?"

Watari stared at the young man before his eyes. Raito grew up a lot. Raito was at least a couple inches taller than four years ago. What scared him was Raito was thinner than he was back then. He handed a card to Raito and sighed, "Please take care of yourself, Yagami-kun. I hate to see you this way."

Watari walked away before the others could question him and Raito wanted nothing more then to empty his desk onto the floor. How dare that man tell him take care of himself. The reason he was like this was because of the man's ward. He was left behind without an explanation and his heart was broken. He sat down, trying to hide his rage. He looked down at the card to read.

'_Meet me at this hotel at six pm. Do not be late.' _

He cracked a smile. It was so like L. He glanced up at the ceiling and wondered what it would be like to see the man again. Would they fight like they did on the Kira Case or would they kiss like they did when no one was around? He couldn't predict what would happen. One side of him wanted to punch the detective while the other side wanted to be taken into the older man's arms and kissed.

Matsuda walked over and sat down. He knew hearing L again was upsetting to the young man. He wasn't sure why. He guessed they were great friends and once L left Raito was left alone. He could tell Raito didn't have friends, well at least true friends. He glanced around the room and whispered, "Seeing L again would be amazing. You should catch up on these four years. Maybe L needs your help on a case."

Raito looked over at Matsuda. He must be right. Why else would L come back? He went back to work and sighed, "Maybe you are right." He didn't want the other man to be right. He wanted L to want him again. He decided it was wise to get back to work. He was caught up but it didn't harm to be ahead. He listened as Matsuda walked away. At least they would leave him alone. Time flew by quickly and it was almost five-thirty. He stood up and grabbed his jacket. He looked around the room to see it almost empty. Of course it was almost empty. Usually everyone ran out of there by five o'clock. His father and he were the only ones who usually stayed past five o'clock. He glanced down the hall to see his father still in his office working. He sighed and left. He had a meeting to go to. He got to the hotel with a few minutes to spear. He went up to the floor and knocked on the door. His hands were sweating and his heart was racing. What would happen next?

"Come in."

He walked inside to see L sitting in the middle of tons of papers. His heart sank. He should have known L only wanted him to help him with a case. Raito walked into the room and shut the door. As he saw a chair that wasn't covered in papers, he sat down and stared at L who wasn't looking up at all.

"It has been a while." L commented.

"So it has been. Four years." Raito responded emotionless. He refused to show L how much he was hurt by the older man leaving him. That fateful night was over and he should get over it to. It would seem L did.

L looked up and stared at the young man who once was his lover. He left without explaining anything to Raito but he had no choice. It was the only way to stop Raito from suffering. But he wondered if his decision was worse. Watari told him about Raito weight loss and he must admit Raito looked a wreck. He stood up and hunched over. He sighed sadly as those once warm honey eyes looked dead. He never meant for this to happen. He stepped over the papers and whispered afraid to speak any louder, "You are not doing so well, it looks like."

Raito turned his head to stop staring into those dark eyes. He didn't want the other man to see the pain within his eyes like everyone else could see. He shrugged his shoulders and replied, "I just been feeling ill lately. Working too hard. I have a break coming up. Once I have a few days off, I should be myself again."

"Is it really work?"

"What else could it be?"

"Maybe it could be what happened four years?"

"Why would that bother me? I'm fine about it. You left, end of the story."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, I am."

L could tell the other man was lying. He walked to the chair and lifted Raito head to stare into those dead eyes. He didn't want that look. He was sure he did the right thing. He couldn't end Raito ever. He felt too much for the other. He leaned forward and touched his lips to Raito's. He felt the other man shake. He pulled back and whispered, "Your lying has become horrible."

"You left. I shouldn't be here."

"I know, but I have not stopped thinking about you for these four years."

"Why did you leave?"

"I had to."

"That doesn't explain anything." Raito voiced out as he stood up. He shook L's hand away from his face. How dare this man come back into his life after leaving him alone? He stared coldly at L and demanded, "Tell me why you left me."

L stared into those eyes. He couldn't tell the other the truth. He gave up so much for this man that said man would never know. He leaned forward and took Raito's lips into a kiss. He missed kissing the other man. As he pulled back, he sighed sadly, "I have no reason for leaving."

Raito slapped L in the face and stared coldly at the older male. He knew it was a lie. Why wasn't L telling him the truth? He sneered, "I should have listened to Misa and not trust you ever. You were using me and trying to convict me being Kira. That is the real reason why you were with me." He stormed toward the door and slammed it open.

"Raito."

He stopped before he stormed out of the hotel room. He missed hearing his name being called that way, in that tone. He wanted to turn around and go back into the older man's arms where he always felt safe. L was the only one who understood him. But he couldn't turn around. He refused to show his tears to the man who broke his heart more than once.

L wanted to confess everything but the other would never take it well. He raised his arm but lowered it. He shouldn't have left the other behind back then. But what choice did he have. He was conflicted back then. He let justice fail and let his emotions overrule him. He jumped onto the chair and pulled his knees to his chest. He could reveal it all but how would Raito handle it? He sighed, "I'll be in town for a while."

Raito stood at the door way. What did it mean? Did it mean L wanted to be with him? He glanced down at the floor and refused to be fooled again. He chocked, "Forget it. Leave soon. I do not want to see you again." He stepped out of the room and hurried down the hall.

L glanced up at the ceiling. He had proof but he couldn't reveal it. It would end everything he tried to protect back then. He gave everything up. Once the Kira Case closed, he was shunned for a couple of years. The police lost some respect for him. He closed his eyes, remembering every time he was with Raito. It was amazing even though he was playing with fire back then. He couldn't stop himself. No one matched him like Raito.

Raito walked out the building, wiping at his eyes. How dare he cry over that man? He stopped in his tracks as he saw Watari holding a car door open. He sighed, "You going to tell me he had a good reason for leaving me."

Watari stared at the young man and replied, "How he left you, I believe was wrong. He should not expect you to jump right back with him."

Raito didn't respond but got into the car. He didn't know what he would do. He wanted to go back to L but at the same he didn't. L gave him sorrow for four years. He stared straight ahead as Watari drove him back to his apartment. He stepped out and looked at the lonely apartment he has. The only person who comes to visit him is Misa. He saw a girl standing at the door and smiled. It would seem Misa came to visit him. He walked over to her as Watari drove away. He whispered, "I'm glad you came."

"Misa is happy to hear that." Misa replied as she latched her arm around Raito's arm. She whispered, "Matsuda told me L is back in town. Did you see him?"

"Yeah. It didn't go good. You were right; he was using me back then." Raito confessed. He wasn't sure why he was telling Misa about this but he didn't have anyone else. No one knew about him and L. Only Misa and Watari did.

Misa looked down at the ground, looking guilty. She glanced at him and whispered, "You should give him a chance."

"Misa, you were so against it." Raito replied as he looked at her. He didn't understand why she was saying that.

"Because Misa was upset that Raito was breaking up with me and being with L. Misa now knows that L would give up everything for you. He did back then." Misa explained.

"What do you mean? He didn't give anything up for me back then." Raito asked as he walked with Misa to his apartment door.

"Yes he did. He gave up his creditability." Misa answered as she unlatched her arm from Raito. She stared at the man she was in love with. Yes, she did move on and loved Matsuda with all her heart. But Raito was her first love. She was tired of seeing him a wreck. She looked down at the ground and whispered, "He covered for Raito. Raito confessed being Kira and he hid it all."

Raito turned around and stared at Misa like she lost her mind. It couldn't be true. L would never let Kira run lose. His entire body was shaking. He grabbed Misa's arms and asked, "Are you serious? Are you telling me that I was Kira and L hid the proof?" He didn't want to believe it. He wouldn't kill.

Misa looked into those lost honey eyes and sighed, "Yes. Misa was protected by Rem but Raito was open for attack. L covered for Raito."

Raito couldn't believe the words coming from Misa's mouth. He was Kira, the man who was killing off criminals. Yes, he agreed his thoughts matched to Kira, but to be really Kira. He shook his head and replied, "I need to get some rest for work tomorrow."

Misa grabbed Raito's arm and whispered, "Raito, please go back to L before his leaves. He does love you."

Raito gave a fake smile and set Misa on her way. He went inside his apartment and stared at everything. L gave up a lot to protect him. Misa said he confessed to it. He slammed the door shut and walked into the room more. He had knickknacks on the table from his sister and mother. He swept his hand across it and threw them onto the floor. He torn down the painting on the wall and threw them against the walls. He punched the wall over and over. He walked to the bathroom. He was Kira.

'_I was Kira. I killed people. I don't deserve to be a police officer. L. L gave a lot up for me.' _

He swung the bathroom door open, slamming it against the wall. He couldn't take anymore. L left him because he was Kira. L protected him. He opened a drawer up and saw a razor sitting there. He couldn't take the guilt anymore.

'_Yagami-kun, I have to leave.' L spoke. _

'_Let me come with you.' Raito replied. _

'_No. You have a life here.' L responded. _

He remembered those words. He hurt so much that night. It was like Kira was giving him a heart attack. He slumped to the floor and picked up the razor. He was a disappointment. The man he was chasing those years ago was himself. The man he loved protected him and left him alone. He heard the door bell ringing loudly but he didn't care. L left him because he was Kira. He slit his wrist and then watched the blood pour out. Strange that it was red. It should be blue, like the ice cold man he was like. He heard someone yelling through the door but he ignored the person. He slit his other wrist as he heard the front door bust open. He didn't care anymore.

'_Yagami-kun, goodbye.' L stated emotionless. _

'_But what about us?' Raito asked as he chocked back his tears. _

'_What about us?' L asked back without showing an emotion on his face. _

Someone yelled, "Raito!"

He looked up but couldn't see who it was. He was lost into the past where he lost everything. He wanted that time back. He wanted to be in L's arms again. He always felt safe in those warm strong arms.

'_My Raito.' L said while he kissed Raito's neck. 'You are mine.' He spoke even more as he wrapped his arms around Raito. _

"Raito, oh my god. What did you do?" A man yelled as he wrapped up Raito's wrists.

Raito heard someone yelling again and he looked up to see a man on his cell phone. He didn't understand who would come to his apartment. No one came to see him. He had to go to their homes but he never felt like it. Only once in a while would he visit his family.

"Raito, hold on. Help is coming."

"L." Raito whispered. He wanted to see the other man again. He wanted to be held by L again like four years ago. But L would never be able to see him again. He was Kira after all. Why would the other man want to see him again? He closed his eyes as he whispered weakly, "L… L, I love you." Everything went black as he heard someone scream his name again.

The next time he woke up, he felt people in the room. He didn't want to talk to anyone. So, he pretended to be asleep. He realized what he did. He wondered who came to his apartment. Was it Misa? No, it was a man. Who came to visit him? Who saved his life? He should be dead.

"How is he doing?" Matsuda asked as he stood by the door.

"He is fine. The doctor said I got there in time." Yagami answered back as he glanced at his son. He didn't understand why Raito would do something like that. He knew that his son was depressed but this badly he never thought. Then those words that were spoken, he couldn't believe his ears. He was upset about the whole ordeal.

Misa walked into the room and whispered, "Yagami-san, your wife is asking for you in the waiting room. She is really upset."

Yagami stood up and sighed, "Thank you, Misa-chan. Please keep a watch over him."

After Yagami left the room, Misa quickly pulled Matsuda aside and said, "You have to leave too. Please Matsu." Matsuda left the room without question.

Raito sighed relieved that everyone was leaving the room. He heard Misa walk out the room and said something to someone. He opened his eyes and was greeted with the man of his dreams or nightmares. He gulped down the lump in his throat and stared into those mysteriously dark eyes. He wanted to say something but nothing came out. Why was L here?

L moved to sit by the bed and stared at the man. Those honey eyes stared back confused and he sighed, "I heard Amane-chan told you what I did four years ago."

Raito nodded his head. It was time for the older man to tell him that is the reason why he left. L would never be with a murderer. He felt a touch to his hand and he looked down to see L's pale hand rubbing against his wrist. He chocked, "You… You don't want to… to be with a murderer."

"I do not have long before Yagami-san comes back and yells at me for being near you. I am not supposed to be here. So, I will make this quick. I left because I was conflicted. I was in love with my enemy and I helped him escape justice. I have lived justice almost all my life." L quickly explained.

"You left because I was Kira." Raito replied sadly. He felt L's hand run across his cheek and he turned his head toward the touch. He wanted to keep that feeling, but he knew L would leave once again.

L sighed, "I left because I needed to think. I let my emotions rule a case. My love for you destroyed the detective I am. That is the first time I ever let my emotions rule me on a case. Trust me on this, but there was a case that my emotions were trying to pull me to save a criminal but my detective self over rule those emotions." He pulled his hand away and took Raito's hand into his own. He almost let Beyond Birthday run free.

Raito looked down at the latched hands and asked, "Are you here because you feel guilty or are you here for me?"

"Both." L answered honestly. He heard some noises in front of the room and sighed. It would seem his time was almost up. He stood up, ready to leave the room, but Raito's hand held onto his tightly. He looked down at those honey eyes. He sat back down, pulling his legs to his chest. It would not make a mistake again. He will stay with Raito even if others do not like it.

The door slam open and Yagami walked in looking livid. He didn't want the detective near his son after what happened. He growled, "Leave."

"No." L responded. He wasn't going to leave again. He would stay with Raito until Raito tells him to leave. He felt his hand get squeezed a little more and he glanced at Raito. He heard what Raito said when he was passing out. Yagami asked him tons of questions but he didn't explain anything. Those four years ago, he was going to tell everyone after the case was solved, but solving it meant turning in the one he loved. He couldn't go through with it and left. He didn't think it would affect Raito this much.

Raito sighed in relief when he felt his hand squeezed in return. It meant L wasn't going to leave him again. He glanced over at his father and whispered, "I want him to stay."

"He did this to you!" Yagami yelled. He refused to watch his son go down through depression because the detective did something. He figured there was something between them and then L left without saying a word. So, it was that, that drove Raito into depression. Then L comes back and messed with his son's head again. He curled his hands into fists and sneered, "I do not want him around you again."

Raito smiled bitterly and replied, "How are you going to do that, father? I am adult now. I will make my own decisions." He closed his eyes. He was tired. He didn't want L to leave him again. How would he be able to move on after finding out he was a mass-murderer? He needed someone by his side who knew. L protected him those years ago. He felt safe with the older man.

L heard Raito breathing even out. He looked up at Yagami to see the man looking shock. He rubbed Raito's hand and sighed, "I made a horrible mistake back then. I will not make that mistake again."

"You were in a relationship with him four years ago?" Yagami asked in a cold voice. He didn't like to learn about it. He didn't want his son hurt but his son was hurt.

L kept his eyes on Raito and sighed, "Yes, we were. It started shortly after his confinement." He looked up to see the emotions Yagami was showing. He knew it would be a shocker. He let his emotions rule him during the case. He slept with his suspect and a co-worker. He never did that before. He glanced back at Raito and sighed, "I left him without even explaining why."

"Tell me why you left him." Yagami ordered as he stared at his son.

"Because my life was dangerous. I am a detective who people want dead. I was afraid Raito would get hurt by being near me." L lied without lifting his eyes to look at Yagami. He didn't like lying to the elderly man. He liked Yagami very much and it was hard to lie to him. But he wasn't about to ensure Raito's death. Yagami would either kill Raito or send him to his death.

Yagami stared at L for a few moments. It made no sense at all. If L left because he was afraid that Raito would be harm, then why come back? He asked rubbing his temples, "Why come back then?"

"I needed to see him again. I wish it was a different meeting. Also, I wanted to offer him a job." L continued to lie. Well, the job offer was the truth. He looked up and explained, "Watari is not getting any younger. I need someone to go to the police for me. Besides it sounded nice to have someone else who could help me solve cases. I only take the cases that interest me. Raito would not be bored." He really didn't want to have this conversation with Yagami. It was something he wanted to discuss with Raito. He would have to wait until the young man was better.

Yagami shook his head. It was a lie, he knew that, but he didn't understand why the detective would lie about this. He glanced back at his son and knew he couldn't rule his life. Raito was an adult, not a child anymore. He would have put a stop to the relationship in the past. Now, he understood why they never told him about the relationship.

A week later, Raito walks out of the hospital and sighs. Every day L would come to see him and they would talk. He was offered a job as the new Watari and of course he accepted it. He looked ahead to see Watari standing there with the door open. He looked behind him to see his father standing there, not looking too happy. He sighed, "We were going to reveal our relationship once the case was over."

"Why didn't you say anything when L left?" Yagami asked back. He didn't want his son to get hurt again. Also, he wouldn't see his son much anymore. Raito would be traveling with L around the world solving cases. He didn't like it much but he couldn't put a stop to it. His son wasn't saying anything. Before Raito walked to Watari, he touched Raito's shoulder and asked, "Why did L really leave?"

Raito stared into those kind caring eyes. He wanted to confess everything but L told him not to. He looked away from his father's eyes and lied, "Because he was afraid that I would get hurt."

"You are lying, just like him. Raito, please tell me." Yagami sighed as he saw his son refusing to meet his eyes. What could be so bad that his son and L would lie about? His eyes widened as he realized what would be so horrible that they would lie. His hand tightened on Raito's shoulder as he span his son around to face him. He stared into those honey eyes and whispered so lowly that he hardly heard himself, "You were Kira."

Raito stared into those heartbroken eyes and he couldn't speak a word. He didn't want his father to find out. He didn't want anyone to know of his sins. He pulled away from his father and hissed out his lies, "Come on, dad. That is stupid to believe." He walked toward the car and stepped inside as Watari opened the door.

Yagami stared at his son as he stepped inside the car. He saw Watari smile at him and went to drive his son away. He could hear the lies that his son was telling. His hands curled into fists but he shook his head. There was no proof that his son was Kira and besides he couldn't send his only son to his death. So, L gave up so much for his son. He glanced up at the sky and sighed.

At the hotel, L waited for the love of his life. He stared out the window to watch people walk by and cars drive by. He heard ruffling in the background and sighed. He should be happy that he would have Raito back. It has been four miserable years without the other man. But he gave everything up for Raito. His creditability was lost to the world. Yes, they still call upon him for cases but most of them do not trust him. He chuckled to himself, finding it all funny. When did the police ever trust him, a man who doesn't reveal his identity to anyone?

"Why are you laughing?"

"I find something funny. It is time to give up the death note."

"About time. I really do not wish to remain with you."

"I give it up. Take it back to your world, Rem-san." L spoke as he turned around to find nothing there. His memories about the case remained as what Raito did those four years ago.

'_Ryuuzaki, L. I'm… I'm Kira.' Raito chocked out as he lay still in L's arms. _

That was the moment he decided to protect his lover. He put his emotions before his sense of justice. Raito opened up so freely. He did leave the room and thought about it that night. But he couldn't kill the one he loved. He heard the door open and turned around to face his lover who was a young man now. L walked toward Raito and whispered, "It is time to over come our past."

Raito stared at L and walked forward. He landed into L's arms and he held the older man tightly. He mumbled, "I think my dad knows about me being Kira."

"Shh. It will be all right. There is no proof. And the proof there was, I destroyed." He lifted Raito's head up and kissed the younger man. He felt heat rise like in the past. He pulled the other man into the bedroom. He became to unbutton Raito's shirt.

"I missed this." Raito confessed as he pulled L's shirt off. He saw the scars all over L's chest and stomach. He never did ask what happened. He always feared L would shut him out. He run his fingers over the scars and whispered, "How?" Who would do such a thing to such a kind hearted person?

"It happened in an orphanage. One of the people who ran the place abused me." L explained without emotion. It was the past. He was saved by Watari. Now, he saved Raito from his past. He pushed Raito to the bed and tore the rest of Raito's clothes off. He striped himself of his clothing. He wanted Raito. He wanted the other man for four years. His bed was lonely without Raito lying beside him. He leaned over Raito and whispered, "It is the past. We have the future to look forward to."

He felt lips slide across his neck down to his nipples. He gripped black hair, loving the feeling of softness. His back arched up as one of his nipples was taking into a hot wet mouth. Raito groaned, "L." He wanted the other badly. Blood was rushing down to his groin by those talent lips moving across his skin.

Running his hands up the sides of Raito's body, L whispered as he gave butterflies kisses across Raito's skin, "You are mine. Mine Raito." He leaned up and kissed those lips that were open, panting. He rubbed his body against the other's, wanting this pleasure for both of them. It was driving him mad. It has been too long since he had the other man beneath him.

Breaking the kiss, Raito ran his hands up L's back, molding them against pale skin. He wanted the older man to take him like they did almost every night four years ago. Sometimes they just laid there and touch each other, not going any farther. He wanted to go all the way today. He felt a hand wrap around his cock and his back arched up, begging to be touched more. He whimpered, "L. L. L."

"Hush, Raito. I will give everything to you." L breathless said. He ran his tongue down the heated skin and took Raito's cock into his mouth, teasing it with his tongue and him humming around it to create beautiful sounds escaping Raito's mouth. He couldn't contain himself. Reaching for the lube, he put some on his fingers and pushed in a digit.

Raito arched his back again and groaned, "Just take me. Take me, L. Show me I'm yours." He knew L loved how he talked during sex. It was pleasurable for both of them. He screamed at the tops of his lungs as he felt L shoved his cock inside of him. It hurt, feeling like he was torn into two but he refused to stop the other.

L stopped and panted. He knew he hurt his love, but he couldn't stop the feeling. He felt in heaven being inside the dark heat. Muscles were tightening around his cock making him want to pound into Raito.

Raito got used to the pain and ordered, "Move." He felt L pulled out then trust right back inside. He moved his hips to stay with the older man's pace. He wanted to be one with L forever. He moaned, whimpered, and screamed as pleasure was building inside him. Once L's hand wrapped around his cock, he lost himself into the pleasure and screamed until his voice was hoarse.

L pounded into the younger man and panted. He groaned and moaned a few times. But he was never a talker during sex. He was usually silent. He ran his tongue across Raito's neck, knowing the other loved that the most. He heard music to his ears. He thrust a few times and felt wetness run over his hand. He bit down on the neck as he came inside the younger man.

After L pulled out of him, Raito laid there in L's arms like four years ago. He felt the blankets pulled over them. He asked afraid of the past repeating, "You will stay with me."

"Yes, Raito. There is no escape for either of us. And when the time comes, I will reveal all my past to you." L whispered as he closed his eyes. He felt Raito's arms wrap around him and they laid there in bliss.

A year later, Raito stared at his family and sighed. He couldn't believe L wanted to meet them. He agreed but he wished his lover would dress better. His family except his dad was staring stun at L. He pushed the older man's legs down and growled, "Sit right."

"But Raito, you know I lose forty percent thinking pattern." L complained.

"Act like an adult instead of a child."

"Raito also knows I am childless."

"Shut up."

"You love me."

"Sometimes I wonder why."

Sayu bust out laughing and looked at her parents. It was great to finally meet brother's partner. She chuckled, "You two are made for each other."

"I am glad Sayu-chan thinks so. I wish Yagami-san would agree." L replied as he gave puppy eyes at Yagami who was looking uncomfortable. Yes, it was great to be with his lover. This time neither of them was going to leave the other. Their past was just that their past.


End file.
